Hello again America.

Today I have something very important to speak about. You see a downright discrimination is happening at Nintendo, as once again they have refused for the beloved weirdo, Toad, to be a playable character in the game series “Super Smash Bros”.

The new entry to the series, “Smash Bros Ultimate” was just released yesterday. Spouting the biggest character roster in fighting game history, and with 74 fighters of classic video game characters, my main man Toad is still getting the shaft.

The Smash Bros. series has become, in it’s five iterations, a celebration of Nintendo history as well as video games in general. Out of the 74 characters, nine of these are from the Mario series. And two of those have never been playable in a Mario game (Daisy and Bowser Jr.. This is what leads me to beg the question, why not Toad?

Look at that beautiful boy-man.

Toad has not only been around since the first “Super Mario Bros” game, he has been a playable character in many Mario titles. He was the strongest choose-able character in “Super Mario Bros. 2” and he was the protagonist of “Wario’s Woods”. He plays a supporting role in nearly every Mario game, if not all of them, and in the most recent Paper Mario game there is an entire civilization of Toads.

But continuously, entry after entry of Super Smash Bros., Toad is reduced to being a weapon that Peach pulls out of her dress. He is used for her gain. And he doesn’t seem to like it.

To play devil’s advocate, he does seem to be a bit more willing in the new title.

I still feel like this isn’t enough for my man-diaper boy. I want to see him pull up the sleeves of that vest and go ham on Mario. But alas, I should be content with the ridiculous amount of characters that I have to choose from in the game.

I just feel that an injustice is being done to my boy. So please, my fellow Smashers, vote for Toad and prevent anymore wrong being done to this good man-thing.

Thank you.